Today I have a HILARIOUS guest post from A.C. Gaughen the author of Scarlet! It's her teenage garage sale complete with pictures of an absolutely wonderful dried prom corsage. You know you want it. ;)
Welcome to the Bizarre Bazaar, the Auction of Adolescence, the Tradepost of Teenage Trials and Tribulations!
What can I interest you in?
First on the auction block is a lovely limited edition Beanie Baby bear. Yes, you may argue, these “collectors items” have become absolutely culturally irrelevant, but just for you, I’ll make a special deal. $20--that’s just fifteen more than I paid for it thirteen years ago (when I sort of hustled the guy at the local mall because I bought them from the store my mom worked at for cheap and resold them to him). Imagine what a bargain this is, considering how incredibly rare they are now!
No? Not for you? Don’t go, we’ll find something. Hmm...how about a lovely, black and white, corset back prom dress from my senior prom? Floor length, A-line, semi-puffy skirt...I’ll take $15 for it. I know! A bargain! Well, yes--that is mold on the hem. But only because I had to bring it to college with me in Scotland (where my closet was quite damp) because they have BALLS there. With actual Princes in attendance. Of countries you recognize. I’m not saying I’ve seen Prince William play the air guitar at a party, but I’m not saying I haven’t. Come on, $15 is a royal steal! Comes with optional dried corsage.
Steve Madden platforms an extra $15. Vintage is cool.
$5 for a riveting travel journal of my high school immersion trip to Spain--where I attended a 15 hour mass with my host family. After being released from the hospital for food poisoning.
$1 a pop for my complete Tamora Pierce collection of books--the TERRIER series is not for sale.
$.10 per bottle of blue, purple, and glitter nail polishes. You know, because I have new ones now and I don’t need THOSE blues and purples anymore.
$2 for a well-played and desperately loved Savage Garden CD. Because unlike EVERY OTHER GIRL IN NEW ENGLAND, I somehow missed the Dave Matthews boat.
Oh! Oh, no, no--those aren’t for sale. These were put out here by some, er, misguided family member. No, THESE are every story I’ve scribbled in a notebook since I was 11. NOT for sale!!
Ah, I see--the desk! You want the desk? $15. Great deal! It’s a huge desk. Very sturdy. Well...yes...those are copies of every poem I liked as a teenager taped to the surface of it. And...yes..those are the tape residues of when I decided I HATED aforementioned poems.
Fine. $5 and it’s yours.
I'm pretty sure my teenage garage sale would be just as junk ridden as this one. Only there would be a lot more stuffed animals....
Thanks for the great post A.C. Gaughen! If you want to find out more about her check out her website here and be sure to add Scarlet to your Goodreads here. You can also read my review of it here!